


growing older, away from you

by buskidsaos



Series: skimmons week 2020 [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, I mean they're happy but us skimmons shippers arent, Introspection, Jemma Simmons Needs a Hug, Moving On, Skimmons Week, Skye | Daisy Johnson Feels, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Sort Of, because these two are hopelessly gay and hopelessly in love but neither of them realize it in time, depending how you look at it, more like refusing to admit feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buskidsaos/pseuds/buskidsaos
Summary: Daisy suddenly wishes that she'd never said anything at all. Because maybe if they'd started earlier, if they'd just had a few more wasted, carefree nights in those golden days, certain things would have been admitted sooner and Jemma wouldn't be in love with Fitz and Daisy wouldn't be wallowing in her own self-pity, masking her pain with a fake yet well convincing smile.Day 1 of Skimmons week, for the prompt 'birthdays'
Relationships: Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Series: skimmons week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920241
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	growing older, away from you

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo apparently there's a thing called Skimmons week? I had no idea but I'm soooo excited to participate because these two are my otp and 100% deserved to be canon.  
> Howeverrrr that is in no way reflected in this fic, lol. I decided to keep things canon and introspective (because it's def canon that they were both hopelessly in love with each other at some point), so this is totally different than anything I've written before. I hope it's not abysmal, enjoy! :)  
> Side note, I don't think there's any tw's on this one, but plz let me know if I missed something!

They're not even aware the first year that they miss a birthday.

In all fairness, it's about six months before Skye discovers that she's actually Daisy Louise Johnson, born on July 2nd, 1988 in the Hunan Province in China instead of Mary Sue Poots, found abandoned on the doorstep of St. Agnes Orphanage on April 4th, 1989.

And technically, they _did_ celebrate her birthday that year, or what they thought it was. There was a cake- for the first time ever, a real cake, with presents and a nice, home-cooked meal made by Coulson. But now there was none of that. For all either of them knew, it was just another humid, steamy, early July day trapped on the Playground- Skye spending grueling hours training with May, and Jemma remaining unmoving beside Fitz's bed where he laid comatose. The day passed by. Neither of them saw each other.

It was the first birthday spent apart, and it would be far from the last.

In fact, it's only a few months later, on an uncharacteristically cool September day that the team is baking another cake, lighting candles, and singing to an integral member missing. It was before Skye knew where Jemma truly was, in the belly of the beast. The story was still that she was taking leave visiting her parents in England, and that she'd be back when she was ready.

It was one of Fitz's first good days though, so when he requested to celebrate Jemma's birthday, who could deny him that? Skye was more than happy to spend the day in the kitchen, pretending that nothing had changed from those early days on the bus which really weren't even that long ago despite the fact that it felt like it had been an eternity. 

They ended up burning the cake to the point of inedibility, and May made a run to the supermarket to pick up a store-bought one.

And then, it's Skye's first birthday as Daisy. But she tries her best to pretend like it's just a normal day because Jemma's been sucked into a freaking _rock_ and Fitz is on the verge of insanity trying to find her and Daisy can't even bear to think about enjoying something as trivial as a birthday when her best friend is out there, missing. Coulson tries to bring it up, once, but she shuts him down quickly. It just doesn't feel right.

But when two months pass and Jemma's birthday rolls around, Daisy sneaks out of the base late one night and purchases one of those cheap snack cupcakes from a sketchy gas station. Pulled over at the side of the road, she procures a candle from her back pocket and lights it, softly singing and blowing it out in the place of her best friend, looking at the stars the entire time.

Her only wish is for Jemma to come home.

And Jemma _does_ come home, and Daisy is finally, truly, happy. But things have changed. Lincoln's here now, and Daisy thinks that there might just be something between them if she's willing to let it happen. Jemma has Fitz, they're finally getting somewhere after her years of unrelentless nagging to both of them. But something deep inside her gut weighs heavy as she watches the way they look at each other- the way her eyes light up at his every word, the way he looks at her like she's the only thing in the world when she smiles that classic Simmons smile that never fails to light up the room.

So Daisy devotes all of her time to Lincoln, and before long, there's something real between them, too. Or at least there might have been.

But then she got mind controlled by an evil alien and was forced to hurt her loved ones and watch him die _because of her._ So she runs. She leaves in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on her back and a wad of stolen cash. Daisy drinks herself into oblivion on the night of the 2nd, trying her hardest not to think about how if things were different, if she wasn't so goddamn destructive, she could be celebrating this day with her family right now.

And somewhere a thousand miles away, Jemma lights a candle for her best friend and prays to whoever will listen that Daisy will find her way back to them. Back to _her._

It takes some time and a lot of healing, but one day, Daisy's there. And things pick off just were they left off. For the first time since they met.. what has it been now? Three, four years? They celebrate a birthday. Coulson orders enough pizza to feed the entire base and she and Daisy stay up into the deep hours of the morning, talking and laughing and drinking far too much than any reasonable agent should. At some point, just before the sun rises, Daisy admits that she'd had a crush on Jemma back in the bus days. The brit responds with a drunken giggle and an 'I did too!' 

Daisy suddenly wishes that she'd never said anything at all. Because maybe if they'd started earlier, if they'd just had a few more wasted, carefree nights in those golden days, things would have been admitted sooner and Jemma wouldn't be in love with Fitz and Daisy wouldn't be wallowing in her own self-pity, masking her pain with a fake yet well convincing smile.

The framework is a whole different kind of messed up. They don't even realize that Daisy's birthday has passed by until they finally make it back into the real world and they can _breathe again_ and it's July 6th. Jemma suggests that they should do some sort of pseudo-celebration later on, but then that plan gets foiled when they get whisked through time and space through a giant rock.

So much has changed by the time September 11th rolls around that year. Jemma insists that she doesn't want to celebrate, and Daisy respects that. Besides, it's not like there's much that they could do in the deep void of space anyways. Instead, both girls end up holed up in Simmons' bunk for most of the day. It's her first birthday without Fitz, and despite the fact that Jemma is confident they'll find them, she can't stop the tears from unrelentlessly flowing down her face. And so Daisy holds her, rocks her, whispers gentle and soothing things in her ear even though she knows there's nothing she can do to quell the hurt her best friend is feeling. After all, Daisy's become all too accustomed to that kind of pain.

Guiltily, a part of Daisy almost wishes that they won't find Fitz. She hates herself for thinking that- she knows how much it's tearing up Jemma inside as more and more days pass with not as much as a whisper of a clue about his location. But maybe, if Fitz isn't found and Jemma's miraculously able to move on, they'd have a chance together.

She does her best to push away those horribly selfish thoughts when they come about and instead pours even more energy into finding him.

Daisy's 32nd birthday is spent in a coma with Jemma and Sousa holding vigil over her bedside as she recovers from the torture she suffered at the hands of Nathaniel Malick. As one would expect, it's a quiet, uneventful affair. Simmons gently hums the Happy Birthday song to her friend once Daniel finally nods off, blinking back tears from her eyes. _How had they come to this?_

September 11th, 2020. Daisy rings the doorbell to the Fitzsimmons' Perthshire cottage, a wide grin plastered to her face and Daniel at her side. Jemma opens the door, shocked, and Alya launches into her favorite auntie's arms. It's the first birthday they're able to spend together that they've really, truly enjoyed.

Maybe if things had been different and they'd admitted those feelings seven years ago, things would be different. Maybe it would be Daisy living in the cottage with Jemma, or sharing a bunk together on base, continuing missions. But they're different people now. Jemma has Fitz. And Daisy? Well, she's happy for the first time in a long time. Maybe things didn't turn out quite the way she dreamed of, but sometimes, that's okay.

For now, they'll just sit in the sun, basking in the unfamiliar warm glow of joy. Oh- and they'll eat cake, too. As one does.

**Author's Note:**

> See y'all for day two :)


End file.
